Friday, April 30, 2010

Updates

Man most of you would slap me for even mentioning this shit on my blog if you knew the true in depth back ground behind all of this. *warning this is a very long post and I would love suggestions*

My bestfriends wedding...

He's marrying a woman I CANNOT STAND! Literally the reason me and him almost stopped being friends over. She's a bit of a whore and in my very own opinion, FUGLY! Like Hillbilly, busted teeth, dumber than to birds tryna kiss with no lips, with feet that look like they've been originally belonged to nomads who walked on glass. This is all my opinion by the way... Flash forward 2 years and three affairs with three or four men they had a kid. I love the kid but I step back because he looks like her but could never in a million years be denied by my best friend. She and him are now getting married. June **** 2010. Nevermind they broke up for about a two months where my best friend was the sole parent for their son. Now, I am far from perfect. But this individual brings drama in her wake every step of the way. Now after being broken up for two or so months. My home boy had to deal with her other ex boyfriend after getting back with her the very same day! When I say she ain't worth shit! I mean it. My best friend, I'm locked between a rock and hard place on this one, he's got what Katt Williams would call "Bitch-dependency", excuse me if I offend. He is attached to a woman whom, even he knows and admits he knows, is not worth it. What tops it off is he knows he can find better! Nonetheless, I fear he's about to make a mistake that will cast his son into a word of false family and discord as a fucking 11 month old baby. Now my best friend appears happy. Which everyone is at first but what I think is going to happen and I really hope doesn't. Is he gets married to her and figures out he made the wrong decision....

I'm a supportive best friend I always have been. I fight him, verbally and physically. I console him. I've watched his back since the day we met. He has always done the same in return. I'm at my wits end on this one though. I have to be there to watch make a mistake that I can not save him from. It bothers me because I know no one is perfect. I want him to be happy and all. I realize that is the mother of his child. But I know its going to be the hardest thing in the world to watch him marry a woman whose unworthy....

My next point!

Well you know what I think i've gone thru this already briefly but heres an overview.

Involved with chick whom deep down I don't have any feelings for. I like her, she cool, but there's nothing there. No desire not even lust. I told myself I wasn't going to do certain things with her and I still did. I feel guilty about everything I do with her in that light because I feel like there's no connection. No deeper meaning. No worth to it. It hurts me to say this. If she and I had done this a year ago it would have been a different story. I know I make her feel......worthless...I have to break this off without causing her any damage you know...I don't have the energy to devote to even being just a fuck buddy. Sad I know! I don't feel right when I'm with her. I value the friendship, she listens, she helps, shes funny, attractive, girl friend material but I can't make all jigsaw puzzle pieces fit...I wanna keep her around and all...shit she's good company a little crazy tho but its tolerable...shit "truth be told I'd rather be with her than alone"...but like I said earlier I can't force her to fit if my heart, mind, soul, and body won't accept...

My next point...

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS SLEEPLESSNESS!
Everyday, day in day out 7 days a week...I can work out til my body gives out...I can spar until my vision is blurry and my arms feel like lead weights...regardless of what happens that day...I won't fall asleep until 3 am...

Next Point...

I have a job!..at my previous employer :[...I left that job because I hated that job. Now I'm back, literally I'm just going to reach a short term goal and "Shake"...

Next Point...

I saw the ex who defined my insecurities as a man, as a lover, as a multiracial individual, as an artist...Christena...I havent seen nor heard from her in almost a year...We had a fight and I told her to rot under her significant others left tit in the 7th layer of hell...those exact words....lol...that and don't speak to me again because I won't reply...Yeah we aint cool still but we have to work together and possibly walk together at this bullshit wedding. Reason, christena is a childhood friend of the whore-to-be, i mean bride to be...o well...I have to plan a jack and jill bachelor/bachelorette party with her... I 'll explain my infuriating argument in a minute...So yeah now I have to speak to her for the time being...

Next Point...

The whore-to-be, has made it clear that the party must be together with no strippers, no dancers, no other women what so ever and no other men either... I argued with her for two hours about the significance of my best friends bachelor party...How it has nothing to do with her insecure ass and how it has nothing to do with the strippers, the beer, the embarrassing photos, none of that. It's literally the last time a man has to be with just his friends before his life changes. It is a celebration of mans bachelor years and celebration of the marriage to follow. But no this dumb whore has him by the balls that have no use and I can only get drunk now...o well...

Next point...

I'm feeling better everyday despite this bullshit listed above. Shit if it wasn't for everyone elses issues I wouldn't be able to look at my life and thank God it aint like theirs!

So yeah check out the previous poetry, got some good feedback on it, leave love!
!bezzy! (pronouced b-z)

-Hazey

6 comments:

jess said...

Look, I'm no expert, but I say you sit him down one last time and tell him your thoughts and then never bring it up again. Because you can't make him do anything, and you risk causing a rift between you if you continue to talk about her. Especially if she has that kind of power in the relationship and knows you don't like her.

As for the f-buddy, just tell her what you wrote here. Girls are more resilient than we are given credit for, it's just that boys suck at saying what they mean in a way that is respectful sometimes. Unless she is crazy...

Tell Christena I have a six inch stiletto which I will aim at her eye if she doesn't behave herself.

HaS the Turtle said...

....so after sitting her laughing out loud in the dark at your comment...i smiled and decided the best response is...

YOUR FREAKIN AWESOME! :]

and all are duly noted and accounted for

T. The Destructor said...

I'm gonna be honest with you: That woman sounds like a piece of shit, based on what you've said. But you can't say anything to your guy. You will ruin your friendship, and even if he should realize he's been whoremongering, he won't forgive you for that. I've seen it happen. You have to let him make his own mistakes. It sounds like he already knows your sentiments on this woman, so you bringing this up is of no benefit to you. Plus, he's an adult, he needs to be responsible for himself. If he is so stupid (sorry, had to say it) as to continue on with this girl who he has broken up with --probably for valid reasons--in a sham of a marriage, he has to do it. You gotta let him fall. Just promise to be there when he does.

I kinda got a little ticked about the whole friends-with-benefits situation you have going on, only because I've seen that happen to other friends, and its pretty much turned me from males for the rest of my life. But you're honest about it, which is more than I can say for the rest of them.
You need to tell your matress friend that there is no love behind what you're doing and man, and stop fucking with her emotions. It's seriously cruel, and you don't seem like a cruel guy.

Third: who the fuck does a jack and jill stag/hen night TOGETHER? WTF? If I were ever to get married, there would be no man raining on my parade, except for those whose I can stuff dollar bills down the thongs of.

HaS the Turtle said...

1- hhahahahah thanks for agreeing with me

2-i will, ive hurt her feelings already by saying im not having sex with her anymore...she didn't handle that very well. I guess cause she took it as her vag isn't any good...none of which is true...its just sex with her is more like a bodily function rather than pleasureable

3-hahahah THATS WTF I SAID! I mean seriously!WHO DOES THAT SHIT?! but she's got his balls and he's speechless...*shaking my head*

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens said...

Tell him about his bitch one last time, if he won't listen smile like a mad fool at the wedding and make sure you never say I TOLD YOU SO, even thou you did.

Tell this chick your not on it, period. It'll hurt more the longer she don't know why you going on like her shit ain't the shit, if you see what I mean.

Don't get dragged into madness with Christena, act like she barely exists. Will probably really piss her off! :D

HaS the Turtle said...

1) so im probably gonna do that its been a few days and I'm still in deliberation amongst myself about it lol...

2) yeah I know exactly what you mean...I hope her feelings arent in it though that would make this even more easier...

3) and funny how you know exactly what does get under her skin...of course I know I still wish I never dated her...lol...but yeah i did that yesterday and she still pursued her usual bullshit...so I loved being intoxicated and acting as though she don't exist :]

20sb

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