Thursday, September 30, 2010

I need...

gimme something real something a nigga can feel
something i grap hold of, leather blue steering wheel
so i can get my life on, heart beating crazy
cuz we fuckin like we tryna have a baby
but baby, maybe I need something a lil more
sweat and pressure is building
see ya self in the mirror on the ceiling
I wanna see you reach whats real
in ya eyes I can tell what you feel
so show what you made of, so take off that thong
we gon see what kinda freak you is when I cut the lights on...


Monday, September 27, 2010


Break Even

A lesson from this quarter past...Lesson on Breaking Even...
In business companies may have some areas that they are losing money. Breaking Even means the where revenue and the expenditures meet on a graph where no money is lost nor is it gained...

A song just came on about Breaking Even, relationship wise, by the script. Whom made a song called the man who can't be moved...

Here's where school and real life meet in my head...

Hearts do not break even. Nope not at all. Divorces are nastier. Luckily it wasn't a divorce...

She got over it much faster than you did...and that's took much more from that break up than she what if it hurts you more or doesn't matter...even if she cared a little bit would it really make any of this any easier? Actually wanna say yes...but your fuck it...

It's time you took that huge heart breaking loss and learn from it. Might as well get a reward out of your pain...

moving on is strange...

Because everyone leaves behind something they once wanted...

Learn from it...and keep it as a lesson learned and a blessing...from what I hear china has a shortage of women...


Friday, September 24, 2010



[feat. Brandon Hines]

Yeah! Uh!
Yeah, you gotta look,
You gotta follow me, what I'm doin' rite here mayne
Like when I say this shit is crazy,
I don't mean it's crazy like crazy
I just mean crazy like it's fuckin', it's actually crazy,

Seems like I always had crushes on chicks I couldn't have
And then I end up fucking with someone I shouldn't have
See, in my mind, it's like I'm perfect for her, I gotta show her
But sadly, in reality, dog, I don't even know her
But still somehow she got my mind infatuated
Absolutely fascinated with the thoughts of what she might be like
Time after time after time I had to wait, is-
Is fate procrastinating?
I can take it 'cause I might be right, 'cause it's

This is the girl of my dreams, yeah
Ay, is she good as what she seems?
Uh, or am I lying to myself?
Uh, ay should I try and get some help?
Yeah, this is the girl of my dreams
Is she good as what she seems?
Or am I lying to myself?
Ay, should I try and get some help?

Yeah, yeah
Oh shit, she passed me on the boulevard
Ay, tell me is it stalking if I follow her
Like all the way home without her knowing
Nah, nigga, I'm just curious where she stay at
Besides when I'm with her, this gon' be the spot we lay at
And maybe I'll just drive by occassionally
And if one day I happen to see her outside, she wave to me,
Imagine what she'll say to me
This ain't no time to be afraid no more
It's time for bravery
No matter if my homies think I'm crazy

This the girl of my dreams
Hey, ay is she good as what she seems?
Uh, or am I lying to myself?
Uh, ay should I try and get some help?
Yeah, this is the girl of my dreams
Ay, is she good as what she seems?
Or am I lying to myself?
Ay, should I try and get some help?

Yeah, yeah, look
I spot her walking in the mall, okay, it's time to grow some balls
If she really gon' be yours, oh my god, I'm walking towards her
My mind screaming stop, but my legs keep walking forward
Straighten up your face, nigga, she see you coming for her
My heartbeat racing, and my hands keep shaking
Say something, you shy motherfucker, she's waiting,
"Wassup girl, don't mean to interrupt
But in the city I done met a lot of women
But you from my dreams, ay will you come true?
I know about a show that we can catch,
Some R&B and rap, ay you should come thru"
She said, "uh, I love too, except I don't like rap
Besides, if I went with you, then I don't really think my man would like that"
Damn! Man,
Okay, you say you got a man,
I mean, I definitely understand, I'm happy for you, really am,
I couldn't have been the only fan in the world Of a girl like you
I mean, you're beautiful, and I'm sure he's a very nice dude
It ain't no biggie, well I'm sure that I'm gon' see you around the city
Only thing I ask if shit don't work out for y'all, don't forget me
And don't act like a stranger when you see me on the scene
I came up with a world-class scheme to get

The girl of my dreams
Uh, ay is she good as what she seems?
Uh, or am I lying to myself?
Or should I try and get some help?
This is the girl of my dreams
Ay is she good as what she seems?
Or am I lying to myself?
Ay should I try and get some help?

Yeah, yeah
So I find out the nigga name, know exactly where he stayin'
Find out when he leave for work, hold up nigga, is you sane?
I'm a follow in my car; I'm a cut in front of his
Run him right into the wall, maybe even off the bridge
I give her a little time, then console her while she crying
She gon' take that as a sign; finally she will be mine
I'll be king, and she'll be queen when I hit her with ring
At the wedding, who gon' sing?

This the girl of my dreams
Is she good as what she seems?
Or am I lying to myself?
Ay should I try and get some help?
Ay, this is the girl of my dreams
Is she good as what she seems?
Or am I lying to myself?
Think I should I try and get some help?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

the very thought

The very thought of you makes me wanna roll up one and smoke you away....

I think that thinking of you gives me a reason to continue my habit...

I've tried all the things I will allow myself to get you out of my head and honestly none have worked...

smoking only makes it worse...

come to think about it all I've been doing since then is trying to forget some shit I will never forget...

which takes me back to my first thought...

The Very Thought of You makes me wanna Roll Up one and Smoke you away....


Monday, September 20, 2010

you are dangerous...

you are dangerous...

so very dangerous you make my hands shake, yet stop moving
i cast you out but its my thoughts you're intruding
help me out here, you said something but nothing
is this what every other woman has done?
lemme see just how much fun i can have with em
nothing serious, so yes ill play with his heart
but jus to make things interesting ill tell him the truth from the start
and as time changes his crying's painless
with my death ears, he'll begin talking to a strangers....


Thursday, September 16, 2010

do I deserve??

If I walk away, and pursue this dream, this lifestyle, this way doing things...
If I do what you wanted me to do and do what you can't...
If I walk away from this with my head high...
If I walk my life alone but with my brothers instead of you for now...
If I try my hardest to let you go and move on in ways I never thought...
If I travel the world and see all the things you didnt get to see...

promise me that you'll come back...

I hope that 6 years of work amounts to attaining your heart
I'm still asking myself do I deserve you?
am I worthy?

my answer is always...



I know you still miss me...

Monday, September 13, 2010

beer pong

so last night, well I would be lying to you if I didnt explain everything...

I love beer pong...Im a lefty too...I was playing at my house last night with a few friends...record of 6-2...i lost twice once to david and once to JB....

the past weekend in photos :]
I dont have photos of labor day weekends events but this past weekends should do...enjoy :]

If you look closely in some of the pictures you can see the ball...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Im drunk

Im drunk if you read this

just call know who you  are...

I feel like I'm reaching out to someone who feels it but is scared to reach back...

time has changed nothing...

time changes, so do people...

...I just really hope that you think of me, I just really hope that you think of me..

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Online classes have begun and Midterms are over...My new job at my old job, I actually like...It is challenging but I like a good challenge its a healthy one I will say...There are still talks of a raise which would be so FUCKING AWESOME :)...

I played another night of Beer Pong hahaha I miss Julian(this is a women btw) and Alan, Dre, everybody man...Hopefully I get to chill with Julian out in Orlando even though her and Alan broke up seeing them both would be cool...

Speaking of Women

I have a new person in my life that I can not say is significant but quite puzzling hahaha...Her Name is dubbed Ms. C not for confusing but that is her codename. Shes 28 as of wednesday no her name isn't dubbed Ms. C cuz she's a cougar HAHAHHAHAHAH....but I will say that she often tells me she feels like a cougar for asking me for my number...She constantly tells me I AM A BABY, yet continuously molests me for hours on end on her couch...puzzling right? She says we can't date because I'm so young yet says we've been on two dates already...none of this has she bothered to confirm with every guy is like what are the real details...Short, 38DD, big butt redbone black kids, her own car, job, my boys tell me thats a GO!!! Hit it and keep her on the team...But sadly I don't want her like that...I know that knowing her and going all the way will happen, me and her cant be just friends...especially since she came to me...not me to her...but its all good i keep my distance...she seems cool but she aint someone I want to keep around...i can tell she would be fun to keep around but my gut's telling me to keep it moving, something don't smell right...and no she doesn't stink...she smells kinda nice actually lol...but my gut says somethings not right sounds like a She said we should go to hilton head in your car ill pay for the trip, but we wont be having sex and thats it for one day...why do I run into crazy people??? my car has 150,000 miles on it, its a Ford...and why on earth would i commit to driving for 4 hour there and 4 hours back all in one day...she's paying right? NO she aint bout to kill me for looking at other women!!! 


A lady hit my fucking car this past week, minor dent over it already...and I am now the manager of M.O.ET....moving to Orlando is becoming more and more apparent...I wish I knew what to say but I don't...other than I'm excited out my mind but at the same time scared my family is about to fall apart... 

My parents divorce has also be finalized...i guess my dads seeing someone lately, my mom is too...I wonder if in the future they look back on this and regret it? I will say that growing up I saw it coming but regret I could never see... 

Life is getting better and better everyday I if I can just keep it all together in my head maybe shit will make sense to me one day...



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