Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Fear....

When I enter a room all I want is you beside me or behind me.

Can I see you with me?

yes.

Do I love you? yes but without full trust can there be a fulfilling love?

I need your help bcuz I don't wanna push you away. i built these walls these defense mechanisms to keep women out of my heart.
I am afraid of you getting too close. I see why too.

I am afraid to trust a woman. deathly afraid! I want you, I know that I feel that in my skin but I just don't know how to trust again...

I don't...

my heart is so lonely. It's become used to be unhappy and alone. I became used to being let down. I became used to being unloved and unwanted. AND now its like all of a sudden there's this woman in front of me showing me love and calling me and texting me and making plans with me. She doesn't get it. She doesn't understand how afraid I am of her and us and our future.

My fear isn't me saying I don't want it. I WANT IT, US, YOU! I want to trust you but I don't know how. I want to trust you before its too late. My fear isn't so great that its making me run from her, idk (,_,)

I am afraid of being FINALLY HAPPY...

I am so afraid of it not being what I believed it to be...

I just want to trust again, so that I don't push you away like the rest...

I feel like my heart is in love with heartbreak, God knows...I know he knows...

I know you know...

-Haze


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