Thursday, March 17, 2011

Broken things

Recently I found out that I love broken things  

He loves broken things 
He feels like He can fix them 
yet he has broken wings 
can somebody fix him 
I mean me or is it you 
I'm so confused I can't think 
they are in the things that I save 
not all whom are lost are doomed to sink Life is an image of what looks like a cave A tunnel a journey that we put together our own way to find peace 
As dumb as it sounds I'm stilling waiting to find that last piece  

Saturday, March 12, 2011


its difficult for me to come here and give you run down of recent events so I guess I'll just start over...

I have been accepted to both of my schools in applied to in New York and I will be moving soon. Things have become surreal. Life is headed in a direction down a hallway I never saw coming. Somewhere I took a right turn and I can't see my next step in front of me. I have a plan but I know better than to believe that my plan can be stuck to...

I am feeling some kinda way about my best friend right now but I must say its kinda outta place for me to feel that way. She, as well as i, do this thing where when we start talking to someone we kind of stop talkin to each other for a while. Now I know when I find someone Im gonna do the same shit and she might feel the way I feel right now. So I guess its just the way me and her relationship will always be...

My college loans payment are beginning payments next month...I'm feelin some typa way about that too...

Two of my closet friends are getting married and they want me to be there...I am not sure what to about this whole moving thing and their weddings. One is getting married on the 9th and thats the day I am going up to New York to look for a job. Never mind my personal feelings towards his bride to be I feel some typa way about him marring her. Although my feelings mean nothing in the situation he's my best friend and I want the best for him. She is the mother of his children, plural,one of these kids is still being determined that is his. Like I said I want the best for my best friend and as his best friend I feel like he is selling himself short...

back t to the topic of my best friend(female)...

Im not a hater, Im not the jealous type either...BUT I HATE seeing her and this guy being lubby-dubby all over twitter and facebook. It makes me wanna throw up to be honest...

I quit smoking weed and everything else minus make this sound worse than what it was but I swear if you lived here you'd be amazed at what i've avoided living in what used to be a nice neighborhood and community...

I work monday-friday, I am thankful to have a job but I hate my fucking job...

I'm on lithium-Carbonate...look it up if you wanna know what it is for. My Crazy Doc, as I call her, raised the doasge lately and took my off of not sure ive said this before but oh well.. She put me on this LiCa and its just now beginning to make a difference...

this is all for now...

Sunday, March 6, 2011

New York, New York

I got my acceptance letter as of Friday...I'm still in shock of everything I'm excited, I'm hype, I'm happy but I can not lie...I am scared...I was accepted by St. Johns University in Queens, New York. Man...blows my mind just thinking about this whole thing. I'm moving to New York. A whole different lifestyle...I'm excited but I'm worried about home...I'm worried about adjusting to a new life...I gotta scholarship to help with tuition...I'm still waiting to hear back from the other school...I finally feel like my life has direction again...its strange knowing where you are i don't know how to prepare myself or even what to think...

idk...things are still in the air...

Imma keep it in Gods hands and keep my heart there as well...

til next time...


Tuesday, March 1, 2011


I gave her too much power
She could call me at any hour
Delivering to her hearts tower
If she only would pay attention
Shut the fuck and listen Stop thinking with her head and listen to her hearts diction
It's calling for me
And with a little time I can pick up her call
Tell her what's within my walls
She's always been looking for something more
I can give her the keys but she has to open up the door
Move herself in to and feel at home
Listen to my beat and never again be alone
Acceptance is the key that opens up your heart
Sad thing is I'm what you been looking for from the start
I say nothing as I watch you chase a dream without me
But I know you'll never find another man quite like me
You let fear stand between you and happiness or is it worse?
I gotta watch my words cuz I know this hurts
But you put me to the side hoping you can find better
Thinking I'll always be there if you must face the weather
I'm sorry to say this but I can't wait for you, forever...


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