Thursday, June 25, 2009

Siempre, y Nunca

Tal vez me he encontrado con la chica perfecta
los problemas son totalmente diferentes de lo que yo nunca pensé que podría ser
Me refiero a primera vista que ver lo que sé
A primera vista, lo que ir tras ella también
diciendo que ella está bien maldito
ella es inteligente maldito
pero todos los demás que a su vez nigga y ejecutar si supieran lo que yo sabía
Creo firmemente en la importancia de su
que vale la pena la lucha
no se trata de mi orgullo
pero en esta chica que no sólo renunciar a
ella me enseñó mucho sobre mí misma en el poco tiempo que he conocido su
de lo que debo considerar en mi mismo a otros modos de vida
Me siento como que está a punto de ayudar a mí en la dirección de mis padres no podían
No estamos diciendo que es [Dios], o cualquier cosa, pero ella está haciendo cosas que me i cant incluso comenzar a explicar
mi corazón estaba confundido sobre las cosas que nunca había pensado en be4
Recuerdo decir a su "Yo no es que estás acostumbrado a"
Lo gracioso es que ... ella ha estado diciendo que a mí
ella me hace sonreír de manera que nadie nunca ha
i like it
alguien nos dijo hoy
"Ustedes dos están en el amor"
ella respondió antes que yo
"YEAH! Somos!"
nunca antes había que
nunca había alguien que sabía wasnt va a ninguna parte
nunca había alguien que quería que yo allí no me necesitaba allí
nunca había sido capaz de escribir sobre alguien como este antes de

Yo siempre solía decir que quiero una chica en mi thats tanto como yo a ella
de lo que veo, ella es
Yo siempre solía decir que quiero una chica que puede ser con amigos y amantes
de lo que veo, ella es
Yo siempre solía decir que quiero una niña que se reunirán a mitad de camino me
de lo que veo, lo que hace

Me asusta la forma en que ella es gran me
Me asusta lo cerca que estamos ya
Me asusta i casi dejarla pasar por mí

Monday, June 22, 2009

post 242

Track my thoughts...

Into The Ocean lyrics

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be...
be...

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard?
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam, junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life, believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing?)

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow, yeah
Just to prove I knew how, yeah
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean...end it all

[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(Into space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Turtle has returned

Dear Father,

A long hard but brief moment of insight has come across me. On father's day of all days I came to actually appreciate my own father.Despite the recent opportunity to become one myself that I turned down so happily(hahaha). The thought of not being apart of my own childs life and it being raised by other people and a mother whom I see unfit, breaks my heart in pieces I can't explain. Despise you, yes I do so very very often do I. I can't hold a conversation with the man at all. We can't talk without there being an argument, literally. He throws every single last thing he has ever done for me in my face, and I mean that he does. I remember when I was 5 and you took me clothes shopping and I asked for a toy and you threw it in my face how you just bought me clothes. I don't ask you for anything. If I do its very very small in fact tiny even. You make no sense. You tell me I need to get my shit together and be doing things on my own but insist that I need to ask you for help because I'm not alone. You complain like a bitch, and are easily hurt by words. Physical pain we seem to handle just fine, we say ow but in reality it didn't hurt at all. I pulled in the driveway and looked at your brilliant parking job and realized mine was exactly the same. You aren't perfect. In fact, you have just as many flaws as an uncut diamond. You are my flesh and blood. I won't lie there are many a night I wish you would just disappear into thin air. I love you for trying. Your words suck, you can't relate to anything I say, nothing I do is ever going to good enough for you(I have yet to find), I will never truly ever be able to please you or make you proud, Holding an ordinary conversation will never ever ever happen so long as there is a 21 year gap between us, and we will probably never ever be able to communicate without arguing. Alas you are my father, you have never ever let me forget, your brutal words and military style of maintaining order have created the man I am. You aren't confident in me I see these things. I love you for being there even though I never ever asked you to be. I love you for not being there when I needed you. I love you because you aren't perfect, but you gave it a shot.

Love,
HaS aka Jr
Happy Father's Day



>>>[Trouble- Coldplay and Best of you-Foo Fighters]<<<

Saturday, June 20, 2009

More Movies

MORE Movies I wanna see

The Road- Viggo Mortensen, Robert Duvall, Kodi Smith-McPhee, Garret Dillahunt, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce

Last Ride- Hugo Weaving, Tom Russell, Anita Hegh, John Brumpton, Sonya Suares

New Moon-
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning, Michael Sheen- note I am no twilight fan but it looks interesting enough

Public Enemies
-
Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Jason Clarke, Rory Cochran

Street Dreams
-
Rob Dyrdek, Paul Rodriguez, Ryan Dunn, Ryan Sheckler, Terry Kennedy

Food Inc.- Documentary

Friday, June 19, 2009

Dear Mom

Dear Gloria Renee Gibson Omar,

There is no doubt that you are the most influential person in my life. No questioning that. Your words to me over the past few days were stern and bit on the motherly side but needed I suppose. I have to admit something to you. I have some issues I need to have worked out. You are right I don't tell you much. I have to say that mom I am a man. That is something you of all people must understand. Men have egos even broken men have a since of pride. So I find it difficult when you ask of me to explain things that put my pride on the line when I am trying so very hard to save what is left of it. I find that I save my words for they are all I have left. Yes your son has hit rock bottom and you watched me sink. There is no doubt you saved me from drowning within myself. I'm not sure if you can talk your way into this fight. I'm sinking again. This time on a different playing field. I don't know if you noticed but my pride took a serious beating the last time you saw me sink. The one thing that was left of repaired was my self esteem. I can't fault you or blame for that you can only do so much for you are only human. I love you so much for being there and hanging in there when things are rough when it comes to me. There is a debt there that I could never ever pay and trying to would be insulting. I want to make you proud. Though you and I know it has to be on my terms. I will make you proud. One day, you are a proud, strong, mighty woman and I love you for it. You played both roles for a long time and I can never tell you how much I am thankful that you did and do. Times are hard on you and things are tough. I want to help you in whatever ways I can. So I do as little within your four walls as possible and clean up behind the other two when I am paying attention. I'm not the perfect son, boy I know I'm not. I know you ask me to do things several times before any of it gets done. What can I say other than sorry, and I love you and I'll try harder to listen the first time. :) Mom I love you so very very much and am thankful for everything you have ever done for me. And no amount of words, presents, money, cards, jewelry, or a combination of such could ever show that gratitude that is there. I talk about you with such a high regard and respect in public, best believe I do represent you well mom. I really do.

Love always and Forever,

Hassan Omar Jr.









p.s. I don't remember what it was that you asked me to grab before I left earlier in the day but I remember you telling me. Its a start right? :/

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I think I..

I think I understand now,
You aren't done molding me,
You haven't finished working out a few things in me yet,
I will never be perfect but I'm not able to make anything work,
or get any relationship to work because you are still working on me.
I'm not ready yet, I'm not done yet...

Monday, June 8, 2009

I wish I was...

>>>[Got to Get My Heart Back- Keyshia Cole]<<<
{WIP}
Believe it or not this picture was taken of me by you almost a year ago. I have to say I wish I was still this man. I wish I could still be him, I wish I could still be this man because you loved him so much. You had a passion and desire to be with him. He felt that you loved him. He felt secure in his relationship with you. He wasn't worried with trivial things. He wasn't disheartened when he heard your ex's name. His face didn't frown up when you left his side. You would call him every morning and every night. You would make sure he was your first and you last every night. You were scared but you trusted him with your heart. He was the first person you thought of when you woke up. You were the first thing he thought of when he woke up. You and him got along so easily back then. You two just worked. There was no effort. You were willing to work out all differences you may have had between each other. He had a love affair with you heart that I am so jealous of. He could reach you, not in a physical sense but on an emotional level. You two were inseparable. He was your turtle. He made you believe in love. He was far from a closed chapter in your life. Your heart wasn't so torn between two men as it is now. He had a hold on you that never made you fight yourself about being with someone else. I wish I was him again. I wish I could meet you tomorrow. I wish I could, I'd love you so much better, I'd do so many things differently. I wouldn't be where I am now. It hurts so much to know I am not him anymore. It...I...I wanna be him, I wanna be me again...I want to be him for you again...I wanna put you back together and you put me back together just like we did the first time.

Now I feel like I can't even so much as get you to understand me or how I'm feeling anymore. I feel like I can't reach you, I feel so out of touch with you and your heart...Let me know if you feel the same way...


{to be continued}

Friday, June 5, 2009

next up coming movies

The following movies are rated A for fucking awesome :]

Gamer- Gerard Butler- 9-4-2009

Hurt Locker- 6-26-2009

Moon- Sam Rockwell- 6-12-2009

20sb

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