Thursday, July 29, 2010

[Closer to my Dreams- Goapele]

So I'm back in school, I have three classes and one is online. It completely kills my plans to take a third on ground class and evening out my work week.I was originally planning on picking up my second job to help me move easier I will attain my Associates degree next quarter :). So next quarter I will be looking to finally transfer out of this damn place. I love Atlanta and my family and my roots being here. I need to leave tho...

I am ready in my mind to move away, i think. I believe I have pushed myself in the right direction with this whole plan of mine to move to another state. Its thrilling in both good and not so good ways. But I know thats exactly what I need tho, to run at full speed...

A bit more of good news, Its looking like they wont be laying me off. I'm not sure if I explained this but when I took my old job(from high school back) I signed a contract to work there for 5 months. I figured a job is better than no job. I took it and its paying okay I guess. I will say that I always kept that in the back of my mind to find a second job. Well as I explained earlier I am to get my associates degree in one quarter including this one. In order to graduate on time I need all 6 of my next classes for that to happen. I was only set up to have just two classes this term. I added on to make it 3 this quarter and 3 next quarter and be done right? So the two next classes i have to take in order but they are only online ARGGHH...

So this means I can not take the chance of working two jobs and having an online class at the same time as 2 on ground classes. To make it worse is the online class is the last half of the quarter, meanings its scheduled at the same time as mid-terms and finals along with final project and papers. So yeah my idea to have a second job got sliced. My job did however pick up a new account that would change my job from healthcare auditing to customer service for Wellcare the health insurance from Medicare, yeah government funded...

With that said a pay increase may come with it as of August 9th so if anything Lifes getting more interesting by the day...

As far as the home front goes my parents are around to the finalization of there divorce...Everything will be different come 9-29-2010...

My car runs better and better everyday :) love my fuckin may not be the newer mustangs with more horses but she stands out on her

I've got another lonely weekend this weekend so look for posts...


Sunday, July 25, 2010

2:30 am

why try to figure out what will never be discussed
what the fuck?
is everything I want something I must give up
switch up or change up
buck up or shut the fuck up
im lost man
and you can see it in my eyes
minds on the money, tho my hearts on the prize
with everything at stake its hard not to lose your pride
to fights
every night
of everything you've ever wanted
is what every celebrity has ever flaunted
the freedom, the access, not just money
boundless and open, bread water milk and honey
food of my dreams arent always what they seem
the bread is always green
and literally changes everything
the waters always cold but burns on the way down
milk is to soothe but even it soon turns brown
i gotta sweet tooth and that honey is a treat
sad part about is shes always a loose freak


Friday, July 9, 2010

To my best friend

To my very best friend,

"Your asleep...I know I show no real happiness or joy or even excitement that you are here. To be honest I've never been more content with life like I am now. I'm glad your here, I think to much I know. Today you asked me have you ever just felt content? You looked at me and said oh God your gonna say no lol. Honestly I am right now. I've missed you so much I'm in shock that your here..."

You left, and honestly I feel exactly like I did when you left the first time and second time, empty. I can't say you make me weak, I can't say you make me feel strong either. What I can say is you mean the world to me, I really don't know what I'd do without you in my life in someway. In some odd way you bring balance to my confusion, you puzzle me, you make me think and other occasions you make me stop thinking. Today is saturday and I'm up once again with no ability to sleep. I know butted heads while you were here, you were probably even happy to leave me here. What I'm trying to say is Sabrina when I look at you I see so very much yet have so very little to say and I miss the fuck outta you even if at the moment you don't miss me. I know one thing for sure about my life and the direction it's going it I know nothing else, I NEED YOU in it. 

I saw Alex on Thursday the day you left, she looked at me and said you look like nothing in the world matters. Honest to God, seeing you go wasn't something I could turn around and watch, that whole day I was mad you left so soon. I know I'll see you again though, this time it's my turn hahaha, let me know what's going on with you and the possibility of a child. I love you and I miss you more than I could ever express in words or in person.



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