Monday, January 31, 2011

Monkeys Can't Lie

No words just pure emotion 
Inhale exhale continue floating 
Tell why does this got me wide open 
Playing the same game insane it's got me hoping 
For something different 
Man she's got me tripping 
Slipping and falling down stairs 
Killing me with her smile 
Though she barely even cares 
Just a whisper in her wind 
Doesn't even know I'm there 

Friday, January 28, 2011


what do you do when you feel your destined for greatness?
standing on the cusp on womens love and niggas hatred?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

4 life

I wish that I could have that moment for life

her apology made me feel alive, her acceptance makes my world, her affection isn't gold, her love is tho...

my best friend

my only love


Monday, January 24, 2011


I am conflicted.

I like you, you are a lot like me, a friend I can't see myself actually losing but anything is possible. Its hard to type today, so excuse the typos please.

I don't wanna send the wrong message to you
at the same time I wanna send the correct one too.
How can I put this? I'm usually great with words but now at this moment I am all but confused.
I can be your friend but that means more space must be used
I don't want to care about the picture that stands
because everyone makes castles in the sand.
Your a lis d fluer yellow is your aroma
I want what I can have that is my glaucoma
visions of what I want are blurry and fuzzy with burn marks around it
the smell of whats real is haughty yet your smile surrounds it
how do you give up when you've barely even started yet?
move on like yesterday and the day before last i guess
when its all said and done my path is restricted
go or stay its all just conflicted


Sunday, January 23, 2011


I was instructed by a friend of mine to an article about racism in America. Well I really don't have much to say about the topic though I do deal with racism. I live in the South, I am of Mixed descent but my appearance just screams african american male. I have an Arabic first name and to the uneducated my last name is too though technically its Spanish Moor NOT Arabic. Anyway I've dealt with the N word being dropped at a predominately white party, I dealt with people over the phone asking if I have an American name, I have been held on numerous accounts to my own memory on bogus allegations that I have Illegal substances in my car, I have been held in line longer in security at the airport because of my name.

I will say that racism is apart of American culture we are all color blind until it matters. I mean African Americans are racist in some ways, I'm sure other cultures see race and recognize the differences in culture as well.

 Is it right? Of course not!

People shouldn't use the differences amongst themselves to divide or to outcast for any reason. In my opinion racism begins with words that at first seem harmless. Then one day become weapons. The problem with racism today is that it is institutionalized because it has been around since the beginning. Someone not liking someone for a reason that maybe valid towards an individual but not a sect of people.

My thoughts on racism personally?
It begins with the children of parents who were brought up a certain way. Everyone is different and that is what makes us all special. Although its those differences that we can never change that drive us apart.
-Hassan Omar

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Not heeding ones own words


So I misheeded my own words, today. Glad that wasn't my new resolution. I was told off by an exes new know, why was I talking to her? To be honest I just texted two letters "hi" when her bf responded I said, "nothing just saying hi are you? happy new years". Stupid right?!  The first thing on my list too! Oh well to be honest I didn't even expect a reply considering I haven't spoken to her in months.

But I was atleast pleasant to the following response lol from his single response I can see so much is  not funny. It actually makes me wonder what I was like when I was jealous or felt threatened by another man wanting my woman. Was I irrational? I mean seriously the guy talked as if I knew something. Like there was some information that he knew I knew which in fact I didn't. Glad all I did was laugh and say nice to know. I don't know when a man acts that way from what I remember it means, "I'm not sure if I have firm grip on her heart yet. Go away."

So after literally having to conceal my laughter all day, I've come to the best conclusion. Hahaha he's threatened by me. I mean I know I flipped ape shit when another guy hit my girl up so I see why it happened. A confident man wouldn't have to tell me "she wakes up next to me."

I was kinda flattered lmao. In all seriousness God has been talking to me for a long time.
And I learned that when the lord delivers you from something don't you dare go back to it. I should have heeded my own warning  I knew what I knew then actually the same thing that I know now, DON'T!

Fuckin hilarious and but definitely not a lesson that needed to be learned.

Now with all that I don't have to feel guilt anymore...and being where I am I think the deliverence from that situation was definitely for the best. There were reasons for God's actions even if he never shows you. I remember all to well the emotional turmoil I was in with that person and the amount of stress that was on that person as well. I'm glad it worked itself out for the best.

After it all I've begun where I left off. Thinking about heading to NY, what am I saying I already applied to two schools in New York.

I've got my associates degree, I'm working, I have a car, a roof over my head, I maybe single but I'm happy. If it weren't for the things that transpired I would still have that very dark demon over my shoulders. Learning that my "highs and lows" as she would describe them weren't my fault. God does have a plan for me...

So I leave with an interesting question

What's worse? Being with someone because you don't know how to be with someone else and unhappy or being single and lonely? I'd pick lonely.


Monday, January 17, 2011

The man with no heart

  Excuse me for the side note, but Was I really unforgettable or just another joke? Do you ever really miss me or am just a ghost A past that's too fuzzy to remember Remember when were both members? Of a unsinkable ship of relations Icebergs of mistrust weren't so mistaken And words between us were so misplacen You were my sun to east and voice of the south I was your moon to west of your mouth You'd listen to my poetry as it flew in So many things have changed baby where do I begin?  Should I start where parted ways Should I tell you about my party days The women of no significance Or just tell I wanna be friends again? It seems like life is on a mission man And we are oblivious to the mission's plan And where do I fuckin stand? Here I am the man with heart again...  -Hazey  

Sunday, January 16, 2011

2011 and hypocrisy

Lemme jus say this....and I don't usually go off unless provoked...hence the alter ego Oso

In order to get something you never had you must do something you've never done and its be 17 days into the new year and I am sick of hearing people say is 2011. Bitch I know what year it is...BTW this isn't addressed to one person, I'm a shotgun kinda man I'm sprayin everybody...So here is my list of DON'TS for the new year

  1. Don't call your ex
    1. an ex is an ex for a reason
  2. Dont delete your facebook
    1. this is not a life changing event
  3. Don't say its 2011 after bringing up old shit and try to move on after the fact
    1. nuff said
  4. Don't act brand new(this goes for any year tho)
  5. Don't make promises you can not keep
    1. your word is all you have
  6. Don't lead people on
    1. liars never prosper
  7. Don't be a smut
    1. just don't be nasty, just cuz you can get it dont mean you should
  8. Don't be the fool who fell for the same shit they fell for last year(hence number one)
    1. dumbass
  9. Don't say your making life changes just to delete your facebook and turn around in less than 6 months and make a new page
    1. if you are a drama filled person deleting facebook wont eliminate the drama if anything you are doing the rest of the world a favor and savin us the hassle of reading about it
  10. Don't be an asshole(this goes for me as
    1. be nicer, that is my new years resolution
  11. Don't keep telling that same friend your going to hang out when you know good and damn well you aint gon chill with them, just be honest 
    1. again liars don't prosper, just take the time to let the person know that you don't wanna chill with them definitely saves you the hassle of coming up with excuses...super duper utlra flexing ass nigga
  12. finally if you are going to make life changes you DO NOT BRAG ABOUT IT!
    1. I'm making changes to my life without flexin on the internet about it....if you are changing just do not need moral support to change....

til next time

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Love is Corny

She said something in response to my words. "I think love movies are cheesy/corny" She responds "I guess it depends on your views of love"

So here is what erupted from that thought, my last love was the best point of reference because she's the only person whom WAS in love with me...

Being in love was like being on an island. Circling around the same subjects, some good some bad, not because I didn't understand the bad but because the problem was never truly solved. I felt like I was trapped in an ocean of their ambiguity.

Yes, an island. What is on the island depends on who you are in love with. I never knew what to do because no matter what I did the same results showed. I felt insane. Like I was trying to solve a puzzle that had no answer to begin with. Nothing to build shelter with but plenty of sunshine when they were were happy. When storms would rage their anger would unrest the seas. Their waves of subtle insults took forever to digest.

My thoughts on love are simple. Don't fall, fly...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I keep seeing these images
Of you and me
Expressing things never spoken
Not moment wasted
Not a minute left untaken
Your skin to mine
My love to yours
Amazing to watch them intertwine
Your legs crossing mine
Your hands to my spine
My girth touches you
These images are burning
Leaving my mind yearning
For your touch
Your lust
and your love
Damn these images


Monday, January 10, 2011

an Ode to lil Bruh

An ode to lil bruh

You are oblivious, to everything. You kick my ass in dominoes all the time, yet fail in math. You look up to me and I realize that more now than ever. Our father has never really held any real weight in your eyes. In my opinion I have to make sure I live up to every expectation you have of me. Your are my burden and dammit I'm proud to take you as it. I wanna lead you in the right direction by leading by example. I'm moving to New York for myself but I'm doing it with all the right intentions. I wanna send you things in the mail. I wanna bring you out to stay with me for the summer once. I wanna come home as if I never lost touch with you. Your all I have and I don't intend to lose sight of that.

To that lil man whose taking pride in his beard which hasn't grown in yet. The guy that kicks my ass in dominoes. The guy that is just like me with women, very particular. To the guy that reps the white sox til the death of them. To the guy that can somehow not close a single door including the cereal box lid. To the guy that can run numbers so damn fast it's astonishing. To the kid I can go joke for joke with all day long. To the guy I can just chill and watch a show about suping your car up. 

Much love lil bro

Letter to my ex

I originally wrote you a longer letter but this is much simplier

"you didnt make any promises and you didnt break any"


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Dear Bob Marley

Dear Bob Marley


So much love

Thursday, January 6, 2011

To the forgotten

To whom that may have forgotten

You have moved to another state. Found a new significant other. Basically began a new life with your own family. I ain't mad, shit in all honesty good for you cuz you were doing nothing but holding us back and holding yourself back. Even more. Now you are free to do whatever your heart pleases and be as irresponisble as you want to be.

First I'd like to thank you for teaching me distrust. That was probably the easiest thing for a young boy to learn about the people around him. Simple don't trust any of them and keep them away. So for many years that's all I ever did was keep people away. Second I wanna thank you for teaching me to pass judgement. Probably the third easiest thing for me to learn. Everyone is bad and wants to cause you harm. Pretty easy concept. Third I wanna thank you for teaching me the second easiest thing I've ever learned, that the first two applied to you. Your words are blades and your inheritly a bad person. My own flesh and blood...

Your other son could use some guidance. Your abscense in the crucial years can be the difference between life and death...I love him and I can't do it alone.

Sent from my iPod
Hassan Omar Jr

Monday, January 3, 2011

things I failed to mention

This is a list of things I failed to mention

  • Sabrina apologized to me for the damage she did to me years ago
    • this was interesting because we don't ever talk about these things. I guess what Chris said made some fucking sense after all. He said to her, "I am not Hassan, I can not love you from a distance." It wasnt until she repeated his words that I understood our relationship for what it was. I love her, she loves me, we love each other regardless of distance. She and I accept one another for who we are and love each other unconditionally. I guess it takes a person from the outside looking in to make some sense of what's happening inside the house of cards itself. 
  • I have attained my associates Degree!
    • However I have a dilema, if I withdraw from school, I would lose my healthcare coverage and not be able to afford my medication. And not to sound like a dope addict but I need it. I am literally better with it. 
  • She likes John Mayer!
    • WTF she loves all his music, why do I like the same type of women? Oh well, maybe this one and I can make something happen? Who knows. She told me listen to Why Georgia, gravity, and another song which slips the mind at the moment. She's straight forward which I like because I definitely need a person who gets to the point.
  • I am starting to think Diana has a thing for me
    • She eats with me and after me, hugs me, kisses me spanish style tho sometimes literally on the cheek, sometimes asks me to stay longer at work with her, grabs my hand sometimes too, she claims to not be touchy feely and not good with emotions but I see through it. She likes me and has my number but shes another cause I cant afford to invest the time into. She is focused on paying her grandmothers rent in mexico. I have no problems with that at all. shit I commend her for it but i can not get tied up with her. I feel like I'd be barking up the wrong tree. Do Not get me wrong Diana has some legs and skin and hair I would destroy given then chance but I just can not invest time into her.
  • The pressure of moving is stressful
    • this ones self explanatory lol
  • I bought a webcam so if you wanna chat hit me up
    • Hazey2890 on skype
til later
Two things

I wanna apologize for my behavior lately. I feel strange doing this but it feels like the right thing to do. I don't know you as well as I'd like to know you. Also I wanna say that I would like for you to get to know me.

I'm 20 years old, I'm bipolar II, I also have depression and insomnia. I found this out the Thursday before I met you. I think your interesting, your obviously beautiful, and your one of my best friends only female friends that means I better get to know you. I plan on moving to New York as of this coming year 2011. Originally I was going to move to Orlando, Florida, do music, alotta weed, and alcohol and women. I chose New York because it has more to offer than Orlando.

Anyway the reason I apologized is because I think I've been acting strange to everybody. I've gotten in a fight with everyone since I been back. I ran out of medicine on Christmas eve. On Christmas day my mood was horrible mostly, and today I've been asjusting to the higher dosage of medication.

The one word thing, confuses me not just with you but with everyone. To me I often take it the wrong way. Normally if I get a one word answer I think the person is ending the conversation, and some times people aren't actually ending the conversation. Othertimes I forget to put a word in the text MSG and it says something completely different than what I was trying to say.

Anyway, I'll text you tomorrow that's all I had to say also I have a blog. Idk if you blog but if you do you should have one for your photos and ideas. Just a thought. I have one

I have work in the morning xP


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