Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Could Be...But I'm Not...

I could be fearful. I could be doubtful. I could be timid. I could be any other feeling other than completely certain. For some reason you give me certainty and hope. Normally I would feel fearful of who you could be. I could doubtful of what we can be. I could feel so many other negative feelings but instead you are all positive attraction...I just...I just know who you are...I am secure in who you are and what we will be...wether it's friends or more...whatever happens between us I'm just happy it happens...

I could be alotta things...

but I'm not..

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

when i need a reminder

this post was actually going to be a long drawn out compliant about my life and it s frustrations but instead im going curve this muthafucka and take a look at the people, the moments, and the opportunities being handed to me by God

  • I have gained 5 of the best friends I'll probably ever have as an adult
  • I have gained a sense of self
  • I have gained a standing point for who I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
  • I have gained a stronger bound with my mother and even stronger bound with my brother
  • I have become closer to my friends than I ever have before
  • I understand my own thought patterns
  • no kids
  • no criminal record
  • a job(which i will soon be quitting :])
  • good health
  • good looks(i have an ego too you know)
  • and EVERY MOMENT  IN MY LIFE that has improved my life thus far(travel, education, certain people)
  • I have gained a car that I will most likely have until i am much older
  • I have gained the chance to break new grounds on who i am as a person in another state
  • I have gained a much broader picture of what it takes to really be successful in life
  • I have learned so much about myself since graduation that this move to NY on the 9th of August(bought my ticket saturday the 9th of July)

though I may feel as though i am failing at it now, i know with God my path is only bound to be an enlightening one...

In this life I have been asking for too little which is why I am always disappointed in the outcome of things, I learned to ask for more than what you want, because that way you are more likely to get exactly what you want...

i have much to complain about, but in the bigger picture of things its small...very small compared to literally anyone... I could complain about my job, my pay, my lack of the ability to save a dime, my excessive drinking and smoking, my paranoia with moving, my guilt when it comes to my mom and bro, etc!

But tonight I'm just going to say Thank You! and remember the list up there

Saturday, July 2, 2011

the end of a bad month

soooo its been forever since i've written anything or just posted a picture so enjoy

Dre's back in town, and man things is moving like crazy out here

My boy Mike is divorced ALREADY after being married for only 2 and half months he's gotta wait an entire year before all this shit is over

Jessica speaks to me again which is awesome, gotta say i missed hearing from her

i really like Alex more and more,

i feel like Gaby is probably gonna be my next girl

the crew is falling apart cuz im leaving next month

my brother might be moving to chicago to live with my father next year

my car is being left behind in GA and im moving to NEW YORK

i went to the studio this past week and all i wanted to do was produce Dres track like i used to and it killed me to not be able to

im considering joining Peacecorps after I get my BA

my houses waterheater has broken twice in 2 weeks so that means we have no hot water...

the best part about this is, is that my mom is slowly becoming herself again...

i feel blank today...and all i wanna do is smile but right now theres nothing in my heart that says Hassan Smile...



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