Sunday, May 29, 2011

I feel its time

I feel its time that I posted something to explain my behavior recently

I am worried and stressing every single day of my life except after  I've had a drink or puff.

money is tight, everything is in limbo, i got questions and problems with no answers to be found so as of now...right now i put it all in God's Hands...

im supposed to be leaving behind so many of my friends down here in Atlanta and moving to New York July 29th<--- to be honest this is the first time I've actually placed a date on my departure...

God Bless


Saturday, May 21, 2011

what isn't in my control

you made it hard for me to even look another woman in the eye and take anything she says seriously
you made it hard for me to want another woman in my life beyond a sexual relationship
you made it hard for me to ever believe I would ever be good enough for anybody
you made it hard for me to believe I could make anyone happy
you made it hard for me to believe that I could ever be happy
you made it hard for me to believe I deserved to be happy
you made it hard for me to look anything from a woman in general
you made it harder for the next woman to come into my life
you made it hard for me to forget you
you made it hard for to let this go
you made it so very difficult to move on and let go of hope
you made it impossible to sleep at night
you made it difficult to just get through the day
you made it impossible to say that you didn't shape me into the man I am today
but what you didn't break and didn't change is my ability to see

and I see clearer now than I've ever seen before.

I wish I had known what I about myself now then that way things could possibly worked themselves out in a different way...who knows maybe we'd still be friends now...but you can not turn back time and honestly i wouldn't want to...had you and I continued doing what we were doing we'd both had ended up miserable...we wouldn't know the friends we have now that we know and love...yes life would probably have taken a horrible turn for disaster had we continued that relationship any was a good run...a run that I will never forget even if you did I wont...maybe one day you'll read this one and realize this is to broke my heart, you turned your back on me as though I had wronged you, you may even have done somethings that would make it impossible for us to ever be friends again(in your eyes because i don't care what you've done we're both adults here why be mad about anthers choices to be happy?) but i wouldn't hold any of that against you...i hope the next woman that I love is all you were to me and more...maybe these words are a little ego-boosting for you or putting you on a pedestal to some people but in honesty I'm did a lot for me, ALOT, so far the best I ever had...all I'm saying is I want my next to be on another level...

im dragging on about nada again

lifes good, my job sucks, I move in 68 days, but most importantly my hearts in one piece and my mind is focused on whats in important in life...

God Bless

Monday, May 9, 2011

as the world turns

It seems like the longer time pass
less I seem to know you
years in the whole
and yet even ya own fears cant show you
love is blind a beast
it talks in riddles and tongues
can't seem to follow its speech
seems like on every word I'm hung
distance aint a factor
na but time will always tell
your words never seem to master
what you heart screams and yells
telling things about what it wants
and dreams of attaining it
im done figuring out your code
same ole broken record, I quit!
the day I look into your eyes
my souls gonna tell it all
love stops but as the world turns
we'll see whose more reluctant to fall


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

love and hate

i love the way you walk
but i hate the way you talk
if i flip and make you soft
you quick to cut me off
im feeling kinda lost
no matter the cost
ten toes down
would you still be around
if the money was on the ground
and shit aint taken off
how soon would you get lost
if things weren't so soft
the path life aint easy
but love is never breezy
and it aint to hard to please me
just stick around to squeeze me
and don't ever fuckin leave me
im man of harsh words
and ill kick you to the curb
if only i ever heard
that you did so ill gotten verbs
in short don't be a bird
ill catch ya when its all too late
flash backs in ya mind of our very first date
so chose wisely before its too late
if i love you you'll be a mate
or ill make you study the line of love and hate

Monday, May 2, 2011


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