To my very best friend,
"Your asleep...I know I show no real happiness or joy or even excitement that you are here. To be honest I've never been more content with life like I am now. I'm glad your here, I think to much I know. Today you asked me have you ever just felt content? You looked at me and said oh God your gonna say no lol. Honestly I am right now. I've missed you so much I'm in shock that your here..."
You left, and honestly I feel exactly like I did when you left the first time and second time, empty. I can't say you make me weak, I can't say you make me feel strong either. What I can say is you mean the world to me, I really don't know what I'd do without you in my life in someway. In some odd way you bring balance to my confusion, you puzzle me, you make me think and other occasions you make me stop thinking. Today is saturday and I'm up once again with no ability to sleep. I know butted heads while you were here, you were probably even happy to leave me here. What I'm trying to say is Sabrina when I look at you I see so very much yet have so very little to say and I miss the fuck outta you even if at the moment you don't miss me. I know one thing for sure about my life and the direction it's going it I know nothing else, I NEED YOU in it.
I saw Alex on Thursday the day you left, she looked at me and said you look like nothing in the world matters. Honest to God, seeing you go wasn't something I could turn around and watch, that whole day I was mad you left so soon. I know I'll see you again though, this time it's my turn hahaha, let me know what's going on with you and the possibility of a child. I love you and I miss you more than I could ever express in words or in person.