Saturday, April 3, 2010

Wow...

Life is ironic yo...extremely...

Dear friend,

Read not in between the lines of my words but take them for what they truly are. Black and white. Ink to paper. Your words yesterday were taken with deep consideration. Just because I haven't answered doesn't mean I don't care, doesn't mean you won either. It means my words are so much more concrete within my soul and mind that opening my mouth to you would just be disrespectful. I don't tolerate rudeness so I won't put out that which I cannot take. 

Your words showed me, 2 things about me. One I don't trust you, your judgement or your words. Not because you have done something that gives me a reason to this way but that I have not changed. I'm still the same way I was 6 months, 9 months, 1 year ago emotionally. This problem of not giving the benefit of the doubt is an issue that I need to face. It helped destroy something I held close once. Two is that I don't trust myself with another person regardless of what limitations I put in front of myself. I'm a person who has a lot of growing to do. Maybe all of my words from before aren't for you. Maybe they are for me.

Maybe you can't give me what I need. Maybe you should consider me just a friend. Maybe I had the same feelings as you I'm just so wrapped up in my own baggage that I need to sort it all out. I know I'm trying my hardest to get my life back on track. Veering off the road in high school is what led me here. It's not right to drag you along through my problems. 

Your words are comforting, your touch is appreciated, your friendship is great. Your help in my times of need was more than what you should have done for me. You are a good friend and at this point in life those are hard to come by. 

That's all I've gotta say

-Hazey

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