Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Glue and The Clue

Sex was the glue

Maybe you were right?
Sex was the glue, take away everything literally everything, and all that's left is that raw sexual tension. The crave to fuck, the lustfilled crave of our bodies touching and sweating and pressed against each other and what do we have? Nothing, nothing of any value, of any worth. The inability to keep a relationship with a person without sex is a pointless relationship. My ever lasting fear partly stemed from that. I could never give you anything meaningful. I tried and everytime I felt like a failure. Someone else had already staked there claim on your heart for that conquest. I felt defeated in everyway by everyone else except in one avenue, sex. The only way I felt that I could reach you. The only way I felt like I could reach your heart was through sex. The other roads were paved with images of others whom I felt inferior to. I felt as though my meager attempt to touch your heart was pointless because it would just get overshadowed. My insecurity came from this feeling of inferiority as well now that I think about it. I now realize there's nothing to go back to. We had nothing to begin with. That's why it was so easy for you to walk away and never speak to me again, never call me again, never even notice if I walked right past you...
Damn took me a year after the fact to figure that out...

I see now...
-Hazey

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