Monday, November 16, 2009

Mi corazon and my strength

Mi corazon and my strength

A dia I learned the wounds I have may never truly heal. Quite honestly because my heart is just wanting answers to the questions I will never have answered. I have no focus, I'm scared, I'm not as confident as I once was. I have truly fallen to a place I'm not sure that I can ever get back up from. I have so many thoughts that cross my mind in a day it's weird. I'm sure other people feel the same way, I'm not trying to say my problems are any bigger or more complex than anyone elses. I will admit that I do need some help. I can't do it all on my own. I want so very much to be self-reliant. As I listen to yellowcard my heart kind of feels like I'm not alone. I know of other people out there like me, lost in need of some kind of breakthrough. I can't focus on anything still. I still find myself making excuses, and honestly I know I'm better than that, I know I don't have to make excuses. I'm just scared...I'm scared of failing. I've had my dreams shattered like so many people out there. I don't hope for much, I rarely get excited anymore. To be honest I've literally forgotten how to just be happy. I don't smile often, I'm normally alone, I want so much more out of my life but I'm so very afraid. You know yesterday I heard my lil brother say to me "When I think of a strong man I've always thought of you, not dad. I never have thought he could protect us, I always thought you could." You know what ladies and gentlemen. I found my strength...

Thanks lil man :,)


1 comment:

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens said...

What a sweet thing 4 ur lil' bro to say! Sometimes all it takes is for you to see yourself how other people see you. Don't get so caught up in your problems that you lose yourself. Chin up!


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