Definition of a man

"Down through history men have always been measured by how hard they work and cultivated, how well the protected their wife and children. In the old days woman saw their man as conquerors, providers, heroes. But somewhere along the line that change, woman started to became their own hero, maybe it was because their man forgot to be relic or because woman don't want to be protected anymore or maybe woman had to be their own hero because of the pain they had to endure in life. But whatever the cause, the world took away a man's reason for being a man. It told him he wasn't important anymore and when that happened, it turn the whole world upside down." -Dave Johnson[Not Easily Broken]

Ok world I'm ready this time. Over the years I will admit that I have always been looking for that one thing that definitively makes a MAN. Me being of the materials and physical prowess of a man does not and will never actually make me a man. It was this line that made me see things in a bit clearer light. Purpose....

worse?

I don't know what's worse.

The fact that you realize that you are still not over a person?

The fact that you catch yourself hoping to hear from them?

Or the fact that you know your hopes are pointless?

Seriously, I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to desire your presence. I don't want to think about you as much anymore. I don't want to miss you as much anymore. I don't want you to have had such a hold on my heart like you do. I don't want to hope to hear from you. I don't want to desire your love and affection anymore. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to, want to be apart of your life anymore. I don't want this or to want you or us anymore. I'm sick of missing you...

but lately and sadly I just can't seem to stop.........

I want to go back but I knew then and I still know now I have to let this and you go. You are NEVER EVER coming back. You made me so very happy and to be honest with myself I'm not sure if I can be that happy again. NO, I'm not sure if I'll ever love someone like I loved you. You couldn't...do some of the things I did and some of the things I couldn't do either. But to be honest I don't want to live my life looking back over my shoulder every know and then to see if you're there. Especially when I know that you can NOT ever truly be there the way I wish and want you to be. I have so much going on right now from my parents divorce and my mothers safety, my brothers mental, my fathers well being ;to my the confusion my family has. but the one thing I wish I had right now was you. You made the room stop spinning my piece of chilly ice that held my reptilian ass to the ground in a sea of confusion and deception you were my piece of ice, see through with no deception, no smoke and mirrors, no lies, no not you. You were and still are the best but not permanent and sometimes I believe my heart won't let you go because I truly believed in my heart that I had found the woman of my dreams, the woman to whom I could hang on to because you and I worked so well together and the fact that when I speak of you to this VERY day I will NEVER EVER say a negative thing about you. Also the fact that I wanted to buy you one of these. And because I wanted that for you, for us, I just can't believe its done and over with. Maybe I just still haven't dealt with my feelings for you I have no IDEA! BUT The one thing I want at this very second is to let go of hope that one day we'll cross paths again, that or hear your voice again [,_,]...but even the foolish dream just like the hopeful.....

I don't know maybe someone else out there can read this and make sense of my feelings....

-Hazey

>>>[Little Bit- Drake ft. Lykke Li]<<<

Playlist from the past

A playlist from the past

Basically I take this as a sign from God as a Kick in the Ass to get going on me.

#1- Nelly

Quiet- Lil Kim

Pimp Juice- Nelly

All The Ifs- Trey Songz

Cheat On You- Marques Houston

Moment Of Silence- NaS ft. Quan

Wonderful- Ja Rule ft R. Kelly & Ashanti

Caught Up- Ja Rule ft. Lloyd

Boyz In The Hood- NWA

Hustler's Ambition- 50 cent

Patiently Waiting- 50 cent ft. Eminem

Sittin' sideways- Lupe Fiasco

Tonight- Notorious B.I.G.

Niggas- Notorious B.I.G.

Notorious B.I.G.- Notorious B.I.G.

They're Out To Get Me- Busta Rhymes ft. Mr. Porter

Been Through The Storm- Busta Rhymes ft. Stevie Wonder

something I forgot

Oh got damn baby there's something I forgot
It just crossed my mind, got caught in one of my thoughts
There's something I need to tell you before I race against the sun
You are one of a kind, meaning I think you're kind of the one....

-Hazey

Why Turtle Went To The Moon

Turtle faced a fork in the road of life, The road once ran straight but now there's a left and a Right. The road ran between east and west running north and south into the light. He had a companion but she went toward the sun, he went to the moon. You see he saw it like this.

You weren't my world my love
You were the Light above
The giver of life to this heart
You were the key from the start
I was merely a moon to this rock
I revolved around that spot
that revolved upon you
You see you were the Warmth
The smile through all the hurt
down here, to me, you are all in my mind
but in reality, you were literally my sunshine...

-Hazey also known as Turtle



>>>[Man On The Moon- Kid Cudi]<<<