???wow...

How many people can say they dated and idiot?
quite a few right?

How many people can actually say they regret it?
probably all of them? right?

 well it appears to me that I dated a racist bigot! My grandfather wouldn't have been proud of me for allowing the likes of this person in my life. I say this because he was in the civil rights marches. A respected black man who stood by God and his beliefs. I can say it bothers me so much that I allowed you in my life.

I am far from racist but to hear a white woman, whom claimed they loved black people, say words that should never be repeated. This is more than just the word nigger. This is a whole conversation that I was there to witness...

I don't think I've ever been so ashamed and pissed the fuck off at the same time...

yeah June 5th, could you get here faster please!

I don't have anything else to say...
-Hazey

Why I don't need you apart of my life

Note to self...fuck Christena and Kim...their words are needed but the way they were stated wasn't...Don't ignore their words just take them with a grain of salt...And those who let bigotry out of their mouths limit themselves...I can't be hateful for what they said in addition...

"45 minutes roll by"

Damnit you see this is the reason I didn't want you in my life. Your words seem to stick to me...they replay and replay...and I can't get them out. I hated you before and still kinda do. When this is all over I just want things to go back to us not talking again. I don't want you in my life, like seriously.

Seriously they make me feel like I'm going no where with my life...Like I'm nothing...She makes me feel as though I have nothing to be proud of...Like what I've accomplished isn't worth anything...Like I've got to prove myself to her...This feeling, this very feeling at the pit of me is what bothers me most...it's deep, so very deep beneath the skin...

Its almost like her soul purpose in life is point out my mistakes...point every last flaw within my character...like your main goal when you are around me is to compare me to every last black person you have ever met....to disrespect my race as a whole...then personally disrespect me as an individual...you are poison...nothing more than hatred in the shape of a fat girl...you couldn't love a man of any race so you disrespect us to make yourself feel better...and to justify why you are gay...in all honesty you're so insecure and weak that without Kim you'd be on crack somewhere...

these can't be my words...

*5 minutes wander by*

When I rise above this, all of this negativity surrounding you, I'll make a statement through my actions that says more than your bigotry and hate ever could...People like that don't need to be apart of persons life...She's the reason I became so depressed in the beginning...Also she's the reason I better myself...

Yeah there's a damn good reason I said, "she could rot under their significant others left tit in the 7th layer of hell." (updates)

"live, learn, let go...."

>>>[Be Somebody- Kings of Leon]<<<

-Hazey

Dear Christena

Dear Christena

It's taken me almost three years to figure out what happened.  I guess I'm ready to tell you now. It was right after your grandfather passed away, me and you started talking as usual. I don't care what the fuck you have to say but Christena back then you did love me, you were just scared. Anyway it was a long day you and I hadn't spent much time together because I was grounded and couldn't stay out long. To he honest all I wanted was a little time with you. All you ever wanted to do was go your own way. It was one night where you said to me on the phone, " you felt like you were wearing the pants in the relationship." All of this was croc of bullshit, you felt that way because I wanted to be with you. You however were going through alot with the loss of your grandfather. That night on the phone I said something and I don't remember what but it hurt you. It hurt you alot. The next day you gave me a red note with the lyrics apologize on it. You had been calling Kim ever since.  

Since that day you and I were never able to be the same. I loved you christena, you loved me. My favorite memory with you has to be at your grandparents house. We'd sit in some room in think it was your grandfathers office or something like that. We'd watch tv and goof off. That's what happened. From there on out you hated me. You never knew why, I always did. From that day foreward you took ever ounce of who it was that I am and crushed it. You crushed myself esteem, my heart, my pride, and made fun of it. You destroyed me, it took me almost a year to realize the extent of the damage you caused me. 

Anyway you asked me this a year ago, here's your answer. I broke your heart.

-Hazey