Monday, August 23, 2010

Breaking the silence

I posted something that I literally and most likely probably should never have posted, spilled milk.

For a little over a year now I've been dealing with some obvious emotional issues right?

well here it goes, we haven't spoken in over a year now. I have a class with you and from what I learned from the past is that maybe I should just be silent. Say nothing and not hinder your life or mine with things that don't matter. You are happier now, i think. Things in your life are falling into place and in mine as well. Of course since you i've dated many people along the way and I am sure you have too.

Bringing up old scars and wounds probably isn't the best for you at this moment anyway. I'm getting my associates degree in december, God willing and transferring anywhere I wish to. You have grown and changed and so have I.

Everyday I see you and say nothing its not cuz I'm mad or scorned or even vengeful...its quite the contrary. I hold my tongue because I don't wanna mess anything in your life up. I literally DO NOT want to mess up any of the things you have worked so hard for. From experience I know, when it comes to you, I am not a good person to re-introduce into your life.

Though even with all that said,  I still miss you. I miss talking to you, I miss your stories, I miss your companionship, and all that good clean stuff. Don't get me wrong the dirty is missed but can be lived without.

My frustrations aren't with you, or the situation, its with the outcome...

I lost a really good friend and it bothers me everyday....



T. The Destructor said...

I know exactly what you mean. E-Zactly.

Heliotropism said...

Don't beat yourself up and think that you are the bad in that relationship... it sucks to lose a friend. Though, with every loss is a gain. You've gained some knowledge about yourself. Take that knowledge and apply it to your next relationship!

Keep up your good work! Your future is in your hands:)


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