Tuesday, March 30, 2010

the mini panic/ realization

So lifes been good just every still frustrating. School has started back up and everything, classes don't seem to crazy. No complaints really. JUST ONE.

Waiting for a check from the Department of labor is slowly killing me. I almost took my old job back. I even called around to see if I can get it back. Now, before you assume, no I won't be delivering again( i would never find insurance ) I'd be an assistant manager. I don't want that job. Its three times the stress for a 3 dollar pay increase...

Yesterday I was frustrated beyond belief over the fact that I still am not where I wanna be. To get where I wanna be I need a little money. I'm stubborn and an ass and refuse to ask for money from anyone. So I tried to develop a side hustle. It fell through and left me frustrated even more. I'm still working on the whole grace under pressure thing lol. I called my old job asked if I could still be an assistant manager, he told me to call the DM, he tells me reapply and call me back. I say okay.

My mom is looking at me like I got my head cut off or something when I told her. She said aren't you collecting unemployment? I said yeah but I don't want a hand out, I want my money that I earned. She says I'm trippin. LOL. Thats mum for ya right? So I even talk to some of my friends and they are all telling me to chill the hell out.

It was at this point I realized I don't handle dependency or even pressure that doesn't exist very well.


Any-who, I don't do much soul searching anymore. Its strange really. I have this friend and she is literally me as I was last year. Its kind of strange to see that. Like I hear myself saying things to her the way they were said to me, I didn't understand them then. I understand the true meaning and value of the words now. She over analyzes things, thinks FAR TOO MUCH, and dare I say it...na I won't. lol Anyway Its just funny to see how life, God, and Karma play out in life. Maybe its just me who sees it but hey its interesting to see myself within another person. What's even more interesting is knowing that it was and I was just a phase to someone else.

This is just a catch entry I'll return with more juicy stories later ;)

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