Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Thoughts to a song

Thoughts about you....damn they seem to be getting me in trouble
they seem to be making me hurt and happy and mad and sad and
the emotions do nothing but swirl in my head and heart and never
seem to stop. Its like things will never just work out for me sometimes
the fukktup part is that they always do for me and I don't deserve it.
She completes me damnit. She is that quake that wakes me up, she is
that fire that burns ever so constantly in my heart and soul. Her smile
makes me capable of moving, her voice drives me home. She's literally
number three and its hurts so bad to know I can't do anything for her
It kills me to know she is in this situation and as much as I want to help
I feel like I'm making things worse. I've never felt this way about anybody
I've never had a bond like this. There is something here that makes me stay
and honestly its deeper than love. My heart sings when she kisses me
my soul cries when she calls me baby my heart breaks when shes gone
I miss her all the time. I check my phone every fucking minute almost in
anticipation on her response to whatever I say to her. She makes me want to
be the best man in her life. Her love makes me stronger and tears me down
at the same time. Her tears nearly kill me even though all I do is stare at her
when she cries. This whole situation just makes me wanna cry and give up
on life and love and hope itself. I've never looked at woman like this. I have NEVER
EVER been able to look at a woman and say I wanna give you children and a house.
This relationship has taken its toll on both of us and I understand why its
never going to be a good idea to try again. I understand why we could never truly be
but my heart has never been so open before. I've never had a woman love me like
she LOVES me. I swear to God if the winds of change make things possible for me
and her to just be together and happy. I'd be forever grateful. I wouldn't ever doubt
her again. I wouldn't worry about her feelings for another man. I wouldn't ever dare
look at her things again. I'd trust her with all my heart. This whole situation just makes
me weak to my soul. I'm tired Lord, I am. I know in my soul my fate is intertwined with hers
and it will be for a little while longer but anymore time with her beyond that would be
nothing short of a God given blessing. God I would make her the happiest I ever could
I'd give her all of me, I'd get on my knees everyday and thank you for everything you have ever given me. I'd never leave her side. I'd stay by her side longer and more faithful than I ever have to anyone. I don't wanna beg. I don't want her given to me and be a nightmare. I just wish things would work out for us. Her heart is so torn and her soul is so wary I see it in her eyes. I just wanna take that pain and suffering away from her. I've never loved so deeply and yet so fearful at the same time. I fear I don't know the true her yet. I fear that she isn't the woman I fell for many months ago. And the part that nearly kills me is that I secede to the God given notion that she could quite possibly be that woman and lover and friend made for me. The unearthly feeling that somewhere back in time our paths crossed and we were the same way. That some how or another we are(and I say this with hands shaking) we are...written in the stars...we are like the characters in hancock, the lovers in westside story, the two lovers in every single cheesy movie and story that everyone knew was destined to be something powerful, that we are bound and woven together by a higher power...YOU COMPLETE ME...YOU LOVE ME...YOU COMPLETE ME...YOU HOLD MY HEART IN YOUR HANDS...

You Complete Me lyrics
:Keyshia Cole

Can you hear me out there?
Have you ever had someone who loved you
Never leave your side?
I know you'll be here because you love me, yes, you do

I'm givin' all my life and all my love if you
Promise me that you'll be here forever
I'll give you all of me, I'll give you everything
If you promise me you'll never leave me

What my friends say don't matter
You'll be right here from the start
And I'll get on my knees, I'll give you all of me
If you never leave my side, because

You love me, you complete me
You hold my heart in your hands
And it's okay 'cause I trust that
You'll be the best man that you can
Baby, you love me, yeah, oh yes, you do, yeah

And no matter what they ever say about you
I'm gonna stay by your side
Promise me no matter what they say about me
That you're gonna be here until the end of time

'Cause you held me down when nobody was around
And gave me all the love I need
So give me more, don't you ever leave
'Cause you complete me

I know, you love me, you complete me
You hold my heart in your hands
And it's okay 'cause I trust that
You'll be the best man that you can

'Cause you, give me my heart back
Give me my love back, baby
I want it all because it's never enough
Give me my heart, give me my love back
I want it all because it's never enough

You love me, you complete me
You hold my heart in your hands
And it's okay 'cause I trust that
You'll be the best man that you can

You love me, you complete me
You hold my heart in your hands
And it's okay 'cause I trust that
You'll be the best man that you can

And it's okay
I know you do, I know you do
Yes, you do, I need you, too
Yeah, I love you, baby, ohh

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