I finally finally finally finally think i did it

I think I finally crossed that void
I think I may have finally allowed myself
to just put it out there
I think my heart finally is to speak again
I think I may actually be able let it go!
I think the lingering pain is finally numbing
I think I'm finally allowing myself the ability to finally!
put myself back together...it feels good!
and honestly I hope that it can only get better :)

ps thanks for wanting to help...you did alot without lifting a finger

Love Letter to the broken

You gave it your best run,
let it go.
You gave it your all,
let it go.
You sent your words to my eyes,
you sent your message to my legs,
you sent your Phone call to my bones,
you left voice messages to my peace of mind.
You have showed me that you meant it.
You have shown me that you didn't deserve,
what happened.

When that day finally came you showed the side you promised me you would.
When the chips were down and all looked lost you didn't crack,
you held it together.
You have done your dirt, you have dont the things you said you never would.
You have no regrets.
All I want to say is

I'm proud of you,
-HaS

the last drop of doubt

sometimes i just have to ask myself
can she really have done that much damage
could she really have left that large of a scar?
i only knew her for so long...how on earth could i have lost it all?
my confidence
my swag
my faith in others
the ability to love openly?
I remember for the longest time all i ever wanted was to just be happy and feel better
when i finally got those tears, when i finally got that appreciation
it didn't matter.....
so why is there doubt left in my mind?

Demons....

I rule your nightmares and conquer your day dreams
turning ever wonderful thought
into what I so may deem
Crawling in the confines of your mind
I leave doubt and despair behind
I leave questions and no answers
Answers to riddles you never even heard
I put that little drop of possibility in your cup of new aspirations
I tug and pull at all of your motivations
and all of your dream driven destinations
do you remember me now?

I think we've met before yes I think we have
that some one who made stay up at night and laugh
through the pours of my eyes
the words my heart can't cry
you were one that tried to fore see the future
with false tales and lies
yes its you, you i do recognize
The one i catch creeping up on me
the one formerly known and as great memory

when the dust settles

Passion, pain, pride, power.
All the things I gain with you by the hour
in your soul, I pray I lay.
I feel like I've made some mistakes.

Recently we've been kind of off
I feel as though I have been REALLY fuckin up.
I feel like I confuse your heart
Like I confuse your soul
Like I don't hold you enough when we finish
Like I don't kiss you enough
Like I don't laugh enough with you
Like I forgot our inside jokes
Like I just nearly lost you.
I've been feeling like I have been losing you for
a while now
To you it may seem to be second thoughts
or doubts
or feelings of thinking of getting out

and For that I apologize
I apologize for everything
I wish I didn't have to go thru this to figure out
how you felt
I dont wanna call you babes...
but Sweethart(thats how i say it...lol) I Love You
I really do
I see a bright future ahead of us
All I need is a sign from you that says
I'm ready...a sign that says I TRULY AM HERE
with you
Today I got that sign
I dont have doubts anymore
I will admit that I did
I will admit I did you wrong
I will admit that I truly am APOLOGETIC

My doubts:

You calling him babes
Feeling like you were still together with him
Feeling like you secretly wanted him and all I was, was filler
Feeling like you were going to leave me at any moment for him
Feeling like I wasn't really what you wanted
Feeling as though you were carrying another relationship behind my back
Feeling as though I can't trust you

My Hopes?

You dont call him babes
That you do just want a friend level with him and nothing more
That you don't give him false hope for the future
That you don't have a secret relationship with him
that you truly truly do love me the way I love you

What I know NOW:

I can trust you...



Let me Fix your heart, But promise me that it will be only be mine....