I feel like a fool

I hear people talking but I just never listen...I keep walking towards you because I'm hoping you'll be different...my hearts heavy over you and I can't quite explain it...you make me a better man even if I never say it...you ain't even my woman but in my soul I see the truth...you're a real woman that's why I feel I must pursue you...you ain't got a heart but somehow you captured mine...dumb niggas always get caught up with the same lines...your beauty isn't matched because somehow all I see is you...in a crowd of 100 people my eyes always seem to drift to you...sometimes I think you want me...but I know better than to fall for your kindness...but the man in me can't help but walk towards you in pure blindness...these words to you are empty and probably mean nothing...but you deserve better than the man who came along before...I've said it once and I'll say it once more...I know you don't want me but I'm a man that can show you what you've been waiting for... -Haze

Pursuing you in vain

I feel like everyday I'm getting closer But you are on a slow moving train My heart's saying keep going
But my minds saying each step is in vain
I've been told more than once your wasting your time
You're just going to get hurt don't drive yourself insane
But as much as I want to listen I keep walking towards her
In hopes that something will change

-Haze

Killing me softly

<p>She is the sum of what my sights see<br>
The totality of what might be <br>
The essence of beauty regardless of what you might think <br>
The phrase you are what I want is could make my heart sink <br>
Rejection is so common so numbing its a shame <br>
The killing of what could have been your exes are to blame <br>
I'm not man of fancy phrases to draw you in <br>
Sadly I'm the man you look past calling him just a friend <br>
Telling the world you can't see us, is an answer <br>
But to my ears the repetitive tone is like a cancer <br>
Killing without reason or even a early warning sign <br>
You killed the thought of us before you even tried <br>
I'm grateful for the thought but fuck it I'll move on
It just sucks to keep hearing that same damn sad song...

-Haze</p>

Wait

They've told me to wait for her
Just wait be patient
She'll come when she's ready
Arrive when my heart doesn't feel so heavy
The barrier of my soul and keeper of my spark
Will my heart fall and drop into the dark
The blinding sight of heartbreak can make a man see
The terrible scars of loves battle can make a man weak
And the memories of what was can silence a man speech
She can make him strong like the mountians or feed off him like a leech
She can be my love bird or the hateful bat of deceit Loves a war won by few who ever cast a stone
The goal isn't be triumphant as sit upon the throne
Because the victor is a killer and victim is a martyr
The flame engulfed everything who cares who's the starter
The winners are the ones who travel the thin line
Balancing each others weight with a thin twine
With God as the center everything should be fine
A true man with true strength is very hard to find
A real woman with raw beauty not just on the outside
So here I am impatiently waiting for the bus
The bus is a metaphor for us
The issue with us is it requires you to be here
I'm a man of one number and its always the same
I'm waiting for your move, show me you are more than a name...
-Haze

1 Timothy 6:8

His words to me is learn contentment...because I have been given everything, everything and I'm still ungrateful for all he has given me. The blessings I've been given are truly Blessings and my ungratefulness: Over being so far from home, thinking i dont have any friends, saying that all I look forward to is sleep, over being single, thinking that I am ready for this and that; this thinking is what is causing this discontentment. I look around and see all these happy people in relationships or with children, they have cars, and homes, they go out and party with there friends and I ask myself where's mine?? Where's my joy and contentment that show that I am blessed? And ungrateful and envious me took for granted the blessings that God had planted in my life...

The roof over my head, the bed I sleep in at night, having 2 jobs in a terrible economy, the clothes on my back, the food and water I have everyday, the loving people around me who don't know me but love me anyway. Its time I took a good look in the mirror and saw that when God is ready, not when I think I am ready, but when God is ready will he bless me in ways unforeseen. I mean take a look at what he's already done...I never saw any of what is happening now coming...

I understand, now it's time to show what I have learned....

-Haze