open heart surgery

IDK random has nothing to do with whats going on around me...
anyway enjoy :] I'll give you all an update sooner or later...BIRTHDAY IN 7 DAYS :]

Ladies and Gentlemen my hearts open
the drill used to cut through bone is still smoking
nothing can sedate me so my eyes are open
the doctors telling me what path he's chosen
through my hearts arteries hes already begun closin'
rerouting blood to places strategically woven
finally I black out and dream of nightmares
the painfully stabbing me places in there
as the light brightens
I enter a battle of two titans
Oso and Turtle constantly fighting the demon
The one who blurs my vision and yet I always see him
He's got revenge on his tongue and dice for eyes
shoulders made of steel with words made of lies
Deceit is his best meal, it feeds him well
from under his feet bloom flowers from hell
the kind that leave scars when tested or made
They never seem to win no matter how many times he's caged
He destroys friendships and bonds that should never be broke
skin as orange as the sun, murder on his chest, it written i quote
he is the demon in me as I awoke
I see things different people taking care of me with back handed grins
after they save my life they then
send me a bill, with a thanks a smile and name written in pen...

I hate when I remember to remember you

I decided to think of you today...
and all the crap you would say...
the cheap shots you would take,
at my pride to put a smile on your face...
the memories of the way,
the sunlight hit your face...
it makes me angry now in every way...
I guess its just like they used to say...
train tracks go both fucking ways......

-Hazey

The version my mind really originally wrote

I decided to think of you today...
and all the things you would say...
the shots you would take,
to put a smile on my face...
the memories of the way,
the sunlight hit your face...
it made me smile in every way...
I guess its just like I always say...
I decided to think of you today...
but train tracks go both fucking ways...
don't they?
yes train tracks do go both fucking ways...
I guess its just like they used to say...
everything that you you used to say...
it makes me angry now in every way...
the way sunlight used to hit your face...
the memories still stay and never fade,
the cheap shots you would take,
at my pride to put a smile on your face...
and all the crap you used to say...
yeah....I decided to think of you today...

-Oso

My thoughts on Haiti

This may offend some people and to some it may not...just a warning.

I have a close friend whom is Haitian...actually I have two. My friends are all mostly from Latin American countries and/or Caribbean countries. So I'm going to make this very brief, Why on earth does it take a Disaster for America to see the rest of the world and decide to do something?


-Nuff Said

insanity

I once expected something and now I expect nothing
hoping something will change and I won't be running
This air I can't breathe, its too toxic for me
without those missing parts of you, I see
to do the same things, repeatedly, is the definition of insanity,
in hopes of a different outcome, sadly is my reality
With words of pure emotion, Chickasaw style of smoking
inhaling the leaves of trees, I stay choking
my mind races with the hope that it'll change
so I dial you again, and what happens? the same thangs...

-Hazey

Updates

So far things are going great for me this year I can't complain. I have road blocks of course but who doesn't. I AM FINALLY ILLNESS FREE! Its been a month since I've felt this good so its good to wake up with a bit of energy. My birthday is rolling around in two weeks.[insert big kool-aid smile here]
I am on campus at my school again, no real friends yet but that doesn't really matter to me. I'm getting my documents together so I can transfer after this quarter is over. My mothers credit score is back up a lil so she can now help me with school if I need her. I have a different outlook on life now. Its a new feeling, to be honest I never really get excited about anything. So I'm excited for what's in store for me this year and next year.
I have a Valentines Day Date, I gotta say my mom thought it was crazy how I'm locked in for V-day already lol. I won't say that me and this woman will go anywhere with this but hey I'm down for the ride. Me and Wonderland aren't dating anymore :/ but hey me and V-day girl should be interesting.
I'm reading a book by Sistah Souljah and man I gotta say, my mom really knows me well. I bought her the book for christmas and she turned around and told me(after reading the book) to read it, I would like it. Those of you who may know me on a more personal level know I don't really read to many books, let alone go to a library. This book is really good though. It sheds some light on my fathers side of the family a bit more in a religious aspect, and yet reveals how I think at the same time. Its crazy. Anyway The books called Midnight by Sistah Souljah Check it out yo.
I have more indepth things to say about V-day girl, school so far, and my day to day stuff to say but ill save it for later...

thats all for now...
Peace and Much love to ya!


-Hazey