difficult

its difficult for me to come here and give you run down of recent events so I guess I'll just start over...

I have been accepted to both of my schools in applied to in New York and I will be moving soon. Things have become surreal. Life is headed in a direction down a hallway I never saw coming. Somewhere I took a right turn and I can't see my next step in front of me. I have a plan but I know better than to believe that my plan can be stuck to...

I am feeling some kinda way about my best friend right now but I must say its kinda outta place for me to feel that way. She, as well as i, do this thing where when we start talking to someone we kind of stop talkin to each other for a while. Now I know when I find someone Im gonna do the same shit and she might feel the way I feel right now. So I guess its just the way me and her relationship will always be...


My college loans payment are beginning payments next month...I'm feelin some typa way about that too...

Two of my closet friends are getting married and they want me to be there...I am not sure what to about this whole moving thing and their weddings. One is getting married on the 9th and thats the day I am going up to New York to look for a job. Never mind my personal feelings towards his bride to be I feel some typa way about him marring her. Although my feelings mean nothing in the situation he's my best friend and I want the best for him. She is the mother of his children, plural,one of these kids is still being determined that is his. Like I said I want the best for my best friend and as his best friend I feel like he is selling himself short...

back t to the topic of my best friend(female)...

Im not a hater, Im not the jealous type either...BUT I HATE seeing her and this guy being lubby-dubby all over twitter and facebook. It makes me wanna throw up to be honest...

I quit smoking weed and everything else minus alcohol...lol...i make this sound worse than what it was but I swear if you lived here you'd be amazed at what i've avoided living in what used to be a nice neighborhood and community...

I work monday-friday, I am thankful to have a job but I hate my fucking job...

I'm on lithium-Carbonate...look it up if you wanna know what it is for. My Crazy Doc, as I call her, raised the doasge lately and took my off of abilify...im not sure ive said this before but oh well.. She put me on this LiCa and its just now beginning to make a difference...


this is all for now...
pCe
-Hazey