She said something in response to my words. "I think love movies are cheesy/corny" She responds "I guess it depends on your views of love"
So here is what erupted from that thought, my last love was the best point of reference because she's the only person whom WAS in love with me...
Being in love was like being on an island. Circling around the same subjects, some good some bad, not because I didn't understand the bad but because the problem was never truly solved. I felt like I was trapped in an ocean of their ambiguity.
Yes, an island. What is on the island depends on who you are in love with. I never knew what to do because no matter what I did the same results showed. I felt insane. Like I was trying to solve a puzzle that had no answer to begin with. Nothing to build shelter with but plenty of sunshine when they were were happy. When storms would rage their anger would unrest the seas. Their waves of subtle insults took forever to digest.
My thoughts on love are simple. Don't fall, fly...
1 comment:
I can't remember which post it was i had read before of yours which I meant to give you advice on. Oh well. I'm sure It'll all work it self out. My ah'ha moments these days are centred around understanding that some thoughts i have are not true.
for example... i had the tendancy for a long time to believe that no one loved me... in particular the guys i loved and wanted to be with. and then i said to myself one day last month, as i felt myself spining off into the usual melancholy triggered by such thoughts, i though that was just simply not true. It's not true that the man i love and want to be with doesn't love me back. I know it's not true, and i had let myself believe that many times before. Now I realize i've been holding myself back with these limiting beliefs. Afraid to face my fear, and go into the heart of what is really there, step past it all and live and love. I am not going to fall in love, i am going to fly!
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