Greatness

what do you do when you feel your destined for greatness?
standing on the cusp on womens love and niggas hatred?
-Hazey

4 life

I wish that I could have that moment for life

her apology made me feel alive, her acceptance makes my world, her affection isn't gold, her love is tho...

my best friend

my only love

-Hazey

Conflicted

I am conflicted.

I like you, you are a lot like me, a friend I can't see myself actually losing but anything is possible. Its hard to type today, so excuse the typos please.

I don't wanna send the wrong message to you

at the same time I wanna send the correct one too.

How can I put this? I'm usually great with words but now at this moment I am all but confused.

I can be your friend but that means more space must be used

I don't want to care about the picture that stands

because everyone makes castles in the sand.

Your a lis d fluer yellow is your aroma

I want what I can have that is my glaucoma

visions of what I want are blurry and fuzzy with burn marks around it

the smell of whats real is haughty yet your smile surrounds it

how do you give up when you've barely even started yet?

move on like yesterday and the day before last i guess

when its all said and done my path is restricted

go or stay its all just conflicted

-Hazey

Racism

I was instructed by a friend of mine to an article about racism in America. Well I really don't have much to say about the topic though I do deal with racism. I live in the South, I am of Mixed descent but my appearance just screams african american male. I have an Arabic first name and to the uneducated my last name is too though technically its Spanish Moor NOT Arabic. Anyway I've dealt with the N word being dropped at a predominately white party, I dealt with people over the phone asking if I have an American name, I have been held on numerous accounts to my own memory on bogus allegations that I have Illegal substances in my car, I have been held in line longer in security at the airport because of my name.

I will say that racism is apart of American culture we are all color blind until it matters. I mean African Americans are racist in some ways, I'm sure other cultures see race and recognize the differences in culture as well.

 Is it right? Of course not!

People shouldn't use the differences amongst themselves to divide or to outcast for any reason. In my opinion racism begins with words that at first seem harmless. Then one day become weapons. The problem with racism today is that it is institutionalized because it has been around since the beginning. Someone not liking someone for a reason that maybe valid towards an individual but not a sect of people.

My thoughts on racism personally?
It begins with the children of parents who were brought up a certain way. Everyone is different and that is what makes us all special. Although its those differences that we can never change that drive us apart.
-Hassan Omar

Not heeding ones own words

Hahahahahahahah

So I misheeded my own words, today. Glad that wasn't my new resolution. I was told off by an exes new boyfriend...lol...I know, why was I talking to her? To be honest I just texted two letters "hi" when her bf responded I said, "nothing just saying hi ...how are you? happy new years". Stupid right?!  The first thing on my list too! Oh well to be honest I didn't even expect a reply considering I haven't spoken to her in months.

But I was atleast pleasant to the following response lol from his single response I can see so much is  not funny. It actually makes me wonder what I was like when I was jealous or felt threatened by another man wanting my woman. Was I irrational? I mean seriously the guy talked as if I knew something. Like there was some information that he knew I knew which in fact I didn't. Glad all I did was laugh and say nice to know. I don't know when a man acts that way from what I remember it means, "I'm not sure if I have firm grip on her heart yet. Go away."

So after literally having to conceal my laughter all day, I've come to the best conclusion. Hahaha he's threatened by me. I mean I know I flipped ape shit when another guy hit my girl up so I see why it happened. A confident man wouldn't have to tell me "she wakes up next to me."

I was kinda flattered lmao. In all seriousness God has been talking to me for a long time.
And I learned that when the lord delivers you from something don't you dare go back to it. I should have heeded my own warning  I knew what I knew then actually the same thing that I know now, DON'T!

Fuckin hilarious and but definitely not a lesson that needed to be learned.

Now with all that I don't have to feel guilt anymore...and being where I am I think the deliverence from that situation was definitely for the best. There were reasons for God's actions even if he never shows you. I remember all to well the emotional turmoil I was in with that person and the amount of stress that was on that person as well. I'm glad it worked itself out for the best.

After it all I've begun where I left off. Thinking about heading to NY, what am I saying I already applied to two schools in New York.

I've got my associates degree, I'm working, I have a car, a roof over my head, I maybe single but I'm happy. If it weren't for the things that transpired I would still have that very dark demon over my shoulders. Learning that my "highs and lows" as she would describe them weren't my fault. God does have a plan for me...

So I leave with an interesting question

What's worse? Being with someone because you don't know how to be with someone else and unhappy or being single and lonely? I'd pick lonely.

-Hazey